Sunday, 21 December 2008

TrailerVision


Seek pleasure, avoid pain. Rule number one of My Guidance to Self on Life. A proper explanation of the contents of said guide is largely beyond the scope of this entry. I will say this, though: It is important to cultivate reliable sources of pleasure.

I've seen many painfully waste films in my time - the gods looked upon my plight and granted me an ability. By simply watching the trailer I would know with 98.2% accuracy which films would cause me to suffer. It gets better... Kal El has Earth's yellow sun. I have access to YouTube. That's right. Every trailer ever made at my fingertips.

So when I got the following call the other day I knew I could safely ignore its tidings:

He: Have I just seen the worst film ever?
Translation: I HAVE just seen the worst film ever. He doesn't mean it, of course. He simply means he's seen a very bad film.

Me: Let me guess. Max Payne.
I'd have got good odds on it being Max Payne. It's the film of a game, you see.

He: The Day the Earth Stood Still.

Already TrailerVised and approved, my friend. The same goes for High School Musical 3 and Speedracer despite the abundance of sincere warnings I've received against following such a course. Hmph, what are the clamourings of mere mortals compared with the beacon of certainty that is TrailerVision?

1 comments:

Kieron said...

Trailer vision!!

Us mere mortals end up stomaching a large amount of hogwash for lack of that power.

K