Sunday, 17 May 2009

I try to listen more, speak less. Cos that barbershop talk...

"I can do anything you can."

16 hours later I'd be asking myself what I was doing talking. There are so many words of wisdom on the matter of talking or, more accurately, not talking:

Mum's the word.

Talk is cheap.

Those who say don't know. Those who know don't say. (or sumthin')

Actions speak louder than words.

And there's me hitting snooze. Dummy.

"Go ape. It's not in the dictionary, but if it was, Go Ape would be described as a high-wire forest adventure. That means we build giant obstacle courses up in the trees..."- The location of today's story.

I've just watched the recipient of last nights words complete the Indian Rope Bridge with no hands. She's cast the gauntlet and the message is clear - using hands is for pansies. Imagine the unstable rope bridges you see in jungle movies spanning chasms... minus the hand railings. A man made walkway so high up in the trees that every time I look down my mind forces death fantasies on me, to remind me I have no business being up there. No doubt, there are Smart Alecs waiting in the wings with unhelpful comments like "Just don't look down then". Shut your moufs, sirs. You haven't allowed for the fiendish nature of those pesky indians. The gaps between the planks in that bridge mean a false step is also the last step.

I'm last in the group. A poor position to be in considering the circumstances. You see, everyone else used their hands on the overhead rope before Miss Insane (proud owner of a malfunctioning sense of self preservation) took to the field and pansified that behaviour. It was acceptable for them but not for me. Diddums.

You might be wondering what we're doing on this death (defying?) mission where it sounds like free falling to severe injury is a real possibility. Well, we're harnessed so following the rules ensures you're unlikey to meet with an unfortunate end.


Suck it up.

Relax, it's quite safe.

Can you say "pony"?

These are the kind of things you might want to say to me but you won't. After all, you remember the self recriminating tones of paragraph one and decide you prefer to select the path of wisdom. A path that will leave you the option of hands-on when your primal aspect forcefully informs you that hands-free is indulgence in self destructive behaviour and gibbers on about not having spent enough time with the harness to have formed a trusting relationship. Standing at the edge of the platform ready to cross, I was more scared than I'd ever been in my life.

Have her gloating on some beat by a girl stuff for the rest of the day? Ermmmm... I think not. My deadly sin of choice is Pride.