Wednesday, 19 October 2011

nary a backward glance

This morning while I was on the phone a colleague of mine walked up, frisked me, put her hand in my pocket, removed my chewing gum (Wrigleys Extra. Cool Breeze flavour of course - only way to fly and all that), took two, replaced my property and walked off.

The End.

Monday, 3 January 2011

do your parity bit

I've been making more effort in the boy/girl zone lately, that includes gettin' in the online dating game...

Disparity in Effort

Generic online chick: Please be creative with your messages. I won't reply to "Hi, how you doing?"

This seems like a fair request but when your profile is under five lines and on the wrong side of basic don't ask for creativity. If you want creative we need material to work with. Inconsiderate.

Disparity in Interest

We're a few messages deep and you haven't read my profile, I'm driving the conversation and we're only talking about you? Pause. Quit to menu.

Disparity in Enthusiasm

Signing in every day (stalk much, J?) but taking five days to reply. I have an above average size ego. Making it apparent that I'm second best? Homie don't play dat.