Wednesday, 30 September 2009

beat down

Me: I'm getting down with The Beatles Rockband.

He: You play that garbage? I don't see the point. It's not like it teaches you to play the guitar.

Uh oh. There's a shaky premise lurking 'round these here parts just asking to get duffed up and left in the corner. We play because it's fun. When it comes to gaming there's a simple rule for any encounter with the word educational: swap it for boring. Anyway.

Rockband and any games of that ilk are at their best when you select one of your favourite tracks, crank the difficulty up to expert (Ok ok. Hard, then.) and let your fingers get to work. Sometimes when you really get in the zone they start doing a demented jig and you hit every note wondering "How am I even doing this?" At that point, you're none other than a brutally legendary, axe grinding, warrior king of rock. That's right, homie. You're rocking out. Elation.

So why are there no tracks that do this for me on The Beatles game? And what the hell is that yellow submarine business? Into a bit of self-flagellation with the boredom stick? That's your song. And if I may, I'd like to visit the general WTF-ery of that track for a second time: On what planet is the subject matter not utter pants?

I can see the love that went into it - they let the fan boys really go to town, but after a while you've just bloody well had enough. I'm trading it in. Let's see if Metallica can do better...

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Sick Man!

"Bruv, why am I still up playing Batman?!"

I received that text message at 08:16 this morning.

The answer? Is it because Batman is the finest game this year making it more important than sleep? Not entirely. It's the Pathology.

Game on, Homes. I see you.