Valentine's Day

As I hand over the cash.

Cashier: For The Mrs, right?

Me: Heh heh, Yeah.
Doing the back-of-the-head-scratch as I say it - you know the one.

More like 'Yeah, right.' Big film. Be about it.

peacockery

Random chick: Is that your pencil case?

Me: No.

A sheepish grin (affected) makes the "No" an unequivocal "Yes".

Random chick: Delightful!

The fact that chicks dig it isn't the point, though. The fact that the possibility of an ambiguity defence is negated by the fact that I found it in a pink-dominant stationary section doesn't really matter. The fact that its toxicity to man points is such that only a real man can get away with owning it - no es importante, amigo.

It's the best pencil case I've ever seen. I simply had to have it, dahling.